So, A Drunk And A Priest Board An Airplane….

(Sorry, i dont have a joke for you. Im on an airplane, sitting between a Catholic Priest and a drunk guy)

What was that I was thinking?

Oh yea, you were trying to center yourself.

Where is your center?

I left it around here, somewhere.

Was it to the left? Or did was it left right here?

My ears just popped. I forgot my ear medicine.

“In the unlikely event of a water landing….”

My ear will get infected again.

And I forgot my ear infection medicine.

(Yep. In the unlikely event of THE PLANE. CRASHING INTO THE WATER. IN JANUARY. IF i survive the crash, hypothermia, the other survivors of a 75 person plane screaming to escape the plane before it drags us all to the bottom of whatever body of water we land in, my genuine concern is that ill get an ear infection. Idiot.)

Random person posted on facebook today:

“Anything I need to know before I turn 30?”

Yea. Your health. Starts. To. Drop. Off.

Most of my friends started having legitimate but minor medical concerns in their mid to late 20s. How many late 20 somethings I served with have a disability rating from the VA?

Not me. I didnt even ask.

Didn’t even check.

Im not proud. I just don’t want to get it twisted. My boundary isn’t the yard. Its my front door. You can trespass on my property, but if you block me from leaving my home, then its time to do the doctor thing.

It took a debilitating ear infection to even go get insurance.

Time for exercise. Time for regular checkups. Don’t be too proud. Don’t wait until you have issues sitting in your livingroom to deal with them.

Okay. Thats about 5 days away. Matt, you’re not well known for following thru on things.

Welp. Get better.

Maybe I oughta post this to keep myself grounded. Accountable.

Imagine if all 3.5 of you yelled at me to go to the doctor and exercise.

Hooray! 3.5 new moms.

Where….

oh where

…was my mind wandering?

Centered. That’s what it’s not.

I hate when I start to filter myself. I was about to start some thought process about mom drama, some freudian rabbit hole about my own mother and her constant crisis disorders and why I have such a rationalized disdain for her antics, despite an emotional responsibility to her for my relation to her. “You only get one mother. And its not like she abused you.”

But then I considered the possibility of her reading this should I post this.

Filter.

“This film has been modified from its original version. It has been edited for time and content constraints”

On second thought….

Viewer discretion advised.

I’m presently rocketing in the general direction of home. For Christmas. For new years. Brutally honest, to see my dad. And my friend Kayci. Everything else is a side quest.

“But you can’t hold a girl, with a fist full of shovel”

You can’t fly without jamming out. Im currently listening to a song by Tyler Childers about 2 guys who found a really rare, really valuable arrowhead in the hills, and in the throws of moonshine, excitement, and desperation, the singer kills his friend for it.

The main takeaway here for me is the line: you can’t hold a girl/date/fall in love when there’s work to be done. Im sure you get how that personally applies to me.

This is the part where I swing it all back in for a rockstar finish.

Or drone on for another 10 paragraphs. It could go both ways.

Yea, but I don’t. 😏

Well, I do when writing. 😂

Dammit janet you get my point!!

“Gotta find your fire, in the company of corn!”

He means whiskey. Whatever. Gotta find your fire.

Mine is

Oooo. Slight pause.

Do I not have a fire?

I do. But you can’t just sit next to a fire. It needs to be tended to. My fire is to travel. To see, smell, hear, experience.

But im presently not enjoying my fire. Im tending to it. Go see your family. Friends. Whats the point of all this experience if you have no one to share it with? To bring back tales of far off adventures and learn of life at home?

Yes. Home Means Nevada. I call Nevada home now.

Not always tho. I call nevada home, but truth is I have no home, nowhere to lay my head down.

THERES NO POINT IN PUTTING ROOTS TOO DEEP WHEN IM MOVING OOOOOONNNNNN, NOT SETTLING FOR THIS UNSETTLING TOWWWWWWWNNNN

Haha. Rude. Anyway, home is most commonly referring to NY. Just simpler to put it that way.

The fire doesn’t stay lit without some help. No I’m not visiting home to remind myself of how much i hate it and want to leave! Despite what my ex wife will tell you, I do not dislike New York for the most part. I visit home because it pleases the people that made me. It pleases them, and i enjoy seeing them happy. Its my way of saying thank you.

(Disclaimer: “these people” are referring to the side quests. I genuinely enjoy my time with my dad and Kayci. They’re fun people.)

Is that selfish? I wanna hear from you. I don’t directly enjoy going home to visit these people, in the same place, doing the same thing, but i know they desire to see me, and for me to return every now n then, taller, stronger, the notches on my belt and the adventures worn into my face, is an excellent way to make them happy, and show them that I am grateful for what they did to make me who I am.

It feeds my fire.

It keeps me centered.

Yes. Thats why I’m on this plane. Next to some smelly dude who tooootally snuck a Corona lite bottle onto the flight and wont shut the fuck up about the sunset.

Which is beautiful, by the way. I just don’t want to talk to his dopey ass, so I enjoy it for a moment, then put my headphones back on and continue writing.

Centering myself.

Oh hey!

Ps:

I DO have a joke for you:
What do you call a fish with 2 knees?

A 2-knee fish! 😂😂 im pretty good at this. Want another?

What did Woody say to Buzz?

Alot. There were 4 fuckin movies.

So Helium walks into a bar….

He orders a drink. Then silently ponders why his mother gave him the unlikely name Helium, for which he was offten bullied for as a child….